ספר במדבר

And Moshe heard the people weeping divided in their families, each one at the entrance to his tent. Now Ad-nai's anger flared up exceedingly, and in the eyes of Moshe [it was] ill (Exodus 11:10) - and the explanation of our sages: "they were weeping because the marriage with blood relatives was forbidden" (Rashi on Exodus 11:10, Shabbat 130a). And let us be precise - isn't it true that the verse says at the outset that they were crying because they "remembered the fish [that we used to eat in Egypt for free, the cucumbers, the watermelons, the green-leeks, the onions, and the garlic]"? (Exodus 11:5) And also "in the eyes of it was ill" - there is no basis for this. And also "that I promised to their ancestors" is superfluous. But before all that, let us dive deeper in the story of Miriam, "and Miriam and Aharon spoke regarding Moshe and said etc hasn't God also talked to us and God heard, and Moshe the man was humble etc". And what is the connection between the verse "and Moshe the man" to the previous verse "and God heard"?

And it seems to me that all can explained with one moment, since in the Gemara we read "a person should not ask for their needs in the Aramaic language, since the angels do not understand Aramaic". And the Tosafot ask - don't the angels even know what is in a person's heart? See there. And all the commentators all pushed the Tosafot aside, asking from where do the Tosafot get that the angels know what is in a person's heart? It is possible to say that in truth the angels don't know what is in a person's heart. There is just this thing: behold, the angels that are appointed over prayer they raise the prayers of Israel to the Holy One of Blessing, and they make a crown to God's head, and they need to know the difference between a proper and clear prayer and a prayer in which there are thoughts that are unacceptable, God forbid, since this prayer does not go up as a pleasing odor to God. And on the outset, the words of the one who says that they do not know what is in a person's heart, how could they know what the prayer means? Rather, the Holy Blessed Name gave them this, that they sense the smell of what aspect the prayer was said, and a person who is careful the whole day to distance from all evil, from flattery, lies, frivolity, anger, arrogance, hatred, rivalry, and from all the things that prevent the service [to God], and this person studies Torah and does benevolent acts, and when such a person comes to pray, then all the aspects of any mitzvah that they engaged in give to the prayer the pleasant smell. It is just as spices give a good smell to what is cooked. And God forbid should the opposite happen, which gives a bad smell to the prayer, and the angels that collect the prayers they sense the smell of the prayer. Just as each and every mitzvah has it specific smell, so too every sin and transgression has a specific smell, and it is through this that the angels know how to distinguish between the prayers. And this is how they know if the thoughts of a person are good or bad, but without this they don't know what a person thinks.

And behold I was asked by a certain person: and don't we find with the story of Yishmael that the angels actually know, since we read that the angels protested God, saying that "this one in the future will kill Your children, and You are giving him a well?" (Bereshit Rabbah 53:14) - not only they know what a person thinks but even the actions of the future that come through the choices of people! And I answered that the angels don't know, they only knew this due to the prayer of Avraham, who prayed "if only Yishmael will live in front of You". And of course our father Avraham PBUH comprehended all of Torah, and was a prophet, and knew that in the future Yishmael was going to do evil to Yisrael, so he prayed for Yishmael, since he knew he would cause Yisrael to be under exile and not in Gehinom. And in that prayer Avraham inserted those thoughts, that even if in the future Yishmael would do evil to Yisrael, it was better that Yisrael suffer with exile and so he prayed that Yishmael should live, and through that the angels knew what was going to happen, as explained.

And with this all the verses mentioned before will be explained. Behold, what Yisrael said "we remember the fish" were their thoughts of sexual impropriety, since the word דגה dagah is a hint to fish, that hint and multiply. When the tzadik hears any speech, the tzadik is able to grasp and comprehend the root of a person's thoughts by their speech. And this is "Moshe heard etc were weeping divided in their families" - meaning, he understood the thought in their hearts as they were saying "we remember the fish". And since Moshe prayed for Yisrael all the time, and on that time also, and it turns out that the angels also understood his prayer, as explained above, and the Accuser began accusing through those thoughts that Moshe understood, and accused Yisrael because of the sexual improprieties. This is why "God's anger flared": if it weren't for the Accuser, they would not be punished regarding thoughts, since 'evil thoughts are not considered deeds by the Creator' (Kiddushin 39b). And according to what we said, the reason is that the angels do not understand thoughts, and there is no accuser regarding thoughts, but at that moment their understood due to Moshe, and therefore began accusing Yisrael, "and God's anger flared, etc, and it was bad in the eyes of Moshe" because he understood that he was the cause of it. And what did Moshe do? He began praying from "and Moshe said etc" until "the land that You swore to their fathers" - meaning, his intent was to remind the merit of the ancestors. And when Moshe said "from where will I get meat" his intention was to skirt completely the issue, saying that the problem was not sexual impropriety at all, but just meat, and so to silence the accuser.

And Moshe also added in his prayer "and if you deal with me like this ככה kakhah, pray kill me, yes, kill me, if I have found favor in your eyes, so that I do not have to see my ill-fortune!" (Exodus 11:15) since has the same ככה gematria as מה mah, since the essence of a tzadik's prayer is through the name מה mah. And this is "And now, O Israel, what מה mah does Ad-nai your God ask of you [but to hold Ad-nai your God in awe, to walk in all his ways and to love and to serve Ad-nai your God with all your heart and with all your soul] (Deut. 10:12), meaning, that you should come to this level, in which your needs are filled by the name מה mah. And this is "Happy is the people שככה shekakha to whom it is like this" (Ps. 144:15) meaning שככה comes from וחמת המלך שככה vechamat hamelech shachacha "and the anger of the king subsided" (Esther 7:10), and so it means 'Happy is the people that are able to calm down the King through the name מה mah, which is ככה kakhah. And this that Moshe our teacher said "if ככה like this" it really meant that, since You given me the level ככה kakhah, I pray "kill me, yes kill me", since King David PBUH "my heart is broken within me" (Ps. 109:23) - and our rabbis explain that he killed his yetzer hara. And at the outset, isn't the yetzer an angel which is impossible to kill? Rather, the explanation is that David was able to turn it from its art, which is to instigate him, and this is how the tzadik kill the yetzer hara, meaning, turning it away so it stops instigating. And the way of the yetzer hara is that, since a person can't conquer it in some thing that it instigates the person, the person needs to redirect it to something else. For a tzadik, [the yetzer] reproves them at all times, showing how the deeds of the tzadik are actually lacking, and the yetzer's intent in this is that the tzadik will be too ashamed to even pray, and this is what Moshe prayed "kill, yes, kill" since the yetzer is also called הרג horeg kill[er]. Moshe meant: I already killed it, as it became my reprover and shows me all my lackings and my evils in order to make it impossible for me to pray, so please You kill it also, so I won't see what I destroy, and so I will be able to pray with all my heart and soul, and this is "I do not have to see my ill-fortune ברעתי, bera'ati [lit. my evil]".

And this is "and Miriam spoke" etc (Numbers 12:1) - in the Gemara we read "transgressions between a person and their fellow: Yom Kipur does not atone" (Yoma 85b). And we can explain that the reason that all the while that a person is not wanted by their fellow there is an Accuser above, and one cannot atone for it until the fellow is appeased, since all the while the fellow has complaints against the person then there is an accuser against the person above. And when the person appeases their fellow then the accuser vanishes. And behold, since the accuser could not accuse Miriam, since in the eyes of Moshe, due to his great humility, those words were not heavy, God took umbrage. And this is the connection between "and God heard", meaning, God by Godself, as there was no accuser given that "the man Moshe was very humble" and yet God did not want to leave their sin for the world to come, God forbid, and in this world it is impossible to punish them without an accuser, and so "God said to them, suddenly, come out all the three of you" - that is, so Moshe could feel a little panicked, and he would descend from his level, and be on the same level as Miriam and Aharon, and this is "the three of you", a word that seems extra. But this is its explanation: all of you should be on the same level, and so on the eyes of Moshe those words were a little difficult to bear, and so God was able to punish them in this world, and so no sin was left over for them in the world to come.