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Chapter Two: ON MODESTY

Modesty is indeed a good quality and is the opposite of arrogance. And he who possesses this quality has already turned away his soul from all sorts of evils, and he who has reached this honored lofty degree performs a precept and receives his reward according to the greatness of his humility. For Modesty is the root of Service to God, and a small deed done with Modesty is received by God, Blessed be He, a thousand times more readily than a great deed performed with arrogance. And thus did our Sages say: "The one who sacrifices much and the one who sacrifices little have the same merit, provided that the heart is directed to heaven" (Berakoth 5b Menahoth, 110:a). But a work done with arrogance is not welcomed by God, Blessed be He, for it is an abomination to His Spirit, as it is said: "Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord" (Proverbs 16:5). "And because of this he cries and is not answered, as it is said: "Yea, when ye make many prayers I will not hear" (Isaiah 1:15). And a man of arrogance may perform the precepts and they tear them to pieces before his eyes, as it is said: "Oh, that there were even one among you that would shut the doors (of the Temple so that the arrogant would not presume to serve Me!)" (Mal. 1:10). And when an arrogant person brings a sacrifice it is not received, as it is said: "Who hath required this at your hands, to trample My courts?" (Is. 1:12). And, it is said: "Add your burnt offerings unto your sacrifices and eat ye flesh" (Jer. 7:21). (That is to say. "Don't offer your burnt offerings to Me; I do not want them.")

But a man with the quality of modesty and humility attains all good for it is said: "But unto the humble He giveth grace" (Prov. 3:34). And, inasmuch as he has grace in the eyes of the Holy One, Blessed is He, when he cries out, he is answered at once, as it is said: "Before they call, I will answer" (Is. 65:24). And when a humble man performs the precepts they are received with pleasure and joy, and it is said: "For God hath already accepted thy works" (Eccl. 9:7), and not only this, for God longs for them, as it is said: "Then shall the offering of Judah and Jerusalem be pleasant with the Lord" (Mal. 3:4).

And what really is modesty? It is humility and lowliness of the spirit, regarding oneself as nothing. And a man must feel this constantly — to be low in his own eyes, humble of soul, tender of heart, and broken in spirit. The root of modesty is that he shall consider, while he is at peace and quiet, healthy and rich, that the Creator, Blessed be He, has done much good to him, and that he is undeserving of all that God has given him. And he should think about the greatness of God and the exaltation of His glory, and should consider, "What am I? Am I not a small humble creature and I am in a lowly transitory world." And he should further think, "All the good deeds that I am able to do are nothing but a drop in the ocean in contrast with what I ought to do." And he must do all of his deeds for the honor of Heaven, and not to flatter any man, or for the sake of pleasure, but he must do everything for the sake of God's Great Name. This is the root of modesty

But a person who feels humility before the Creator, Blessed be He, only when he becomes ill in body or in any limb, or when his children or friends die, or when he loses his wealth or high position, or when he grows old, this may belong to the realm of modesty and humility, and is accepted by God, Blessed be He, but does not reach the essence of modesty.

And he must conduct himself in his dealings with people and in money matters with even greater care for their interests than the law demands (beyond the letter of the law), and all his transactions with people should be with humility and gentleness. And the essence of modesty is that he should be humble before those who are in a lower position than he. For example, to his help and his household, and to those poor who obtain their sustenance or benefit from him — to those from whom he never needs or expects any favors, and whom he does not fear.

He who is humble before widows and strangers and bears their troubles and burdens, and he who hears shameful insults but does not retort because of the greatness of his modesty — this is modesty indeed!

There is still another excellent modesty; for example, one who is humble before his Rabbi or Teacher and before the wise and before the righteous ones who follow the paths of righteousness, and thinks in his heart, "These are the servants of God, Blessed be He — His ministers and those who love Him." And because of this he humbles himself before them and honors them. This too is excellent modesty — that he should think, "I will be humble before the wise in order that they should bring me near to them and teach me and correct me and guide me in the way of the Lord, Blessed is He." And there is another excellent modesty — that he should be humble before his pupils and that he should explain every hidden meaning, to the more apt pupil according to his ability, and to the less able pupil according to his ability. And let him explain and explain again and again with a pleasant expression and demeanor until the pupil understands the matter, and he should not say, "How can I stay with him until he understands; his mind is like a rock." And he, the teacher, should clearly outline and arrange the lesson pleasantly many times. Surely, you already know the reward of Rabbi Pereda who reviewed one lesson with a pupil four hundred times (Erubin 54b).

And there is another excellent modesty — to study in the presence of the very young and ask them to explain something that he, the teacher, does not understand. And he should not say, "How can I study in the presence of youngsters and how can I seek and expect to find an answer from him when he is younger than I?" And on this subject it is said: "From all my mentors I have learned" (Ps. 119:99). And further did our Sages say: "Be exceedingly humble" (Aboth 4:4), in the presence of all men. Not before the great alone must one be humble in spirit, but also before the small.

And he who walks in this path will cause the many to be meritorious, for he will be liked by all who see him and all his deeds and the manner of them will be acceptable to them. And always will they praise him and every man will bless his son that he be like this modest man. And thus he sanctifies the Name of God, Blessed be He. But he who vaunts himself, profanes the Name of God, Blessed be He, and causes others to sin, such a person can be compared to a carcass that is cast out into the street and every passerby puts his hand to his nose until he passes by. Thus is the arrogant man — he puts the Torah to shame and those who study it, and causes people to shun the Torah, for they say, "What worth is there in the Torah if those who study it are evil?". And reasoning thus, they turn away from Torah.

Modesty can be recognized in a man in six ways:

1. When a man can restrain his anger as, for example, when another shames him exceedingly by words or deeds and he is tempted to avenge the insult, but he controls his wrath and forgives the offender because of the Creator, Blessed be He. That is a sign of modesty. There are times, however, when it is forbidden to forgive an offender, as in the case of a wise scholar whom someone shames in public. In that case, the offender should appease the scholar he has insulted.

2. The second is when a man suffers a great loss —or his children die — and he declares his faith in the Justice of God, Blessed be He, and receives His Judgment with love, as it is said: "And Aaron was silent" (Lev. 10:3). And this certainly teaches what humble and modest conduct is.

3. If a man should hear that everyone praises him because of his wisdom and his good deeds, he should not rejoice at this but think that his good deeds are few compared to what he should do, and that they are nothing but a drop in the sea.

And, of course, if people credit him with good deeds he did not do, he should not rejoice at this but on the contrary feel great pain in his heart that he should have gotten credit for something he did not do. Also, in the case where somebody told evil tales concerning him — if these are true — he should not seek to twist the truth and thus clear himself, but do as Judah who said: "She is more in the right than I" (Gen. 38:26). And he should not try to contradict the man that told these tales, nor should he hate him because he revealed the matter, but he should bow humbly before the Creator, Blessed be He, that he has revealed a little of much that could have been revealed, in order to rebuke him and correct him that he might return to God.

Now, if what the man told about him is false, he should not shame the accuser or quarrel angrily with him. There was one of the Sages about whom a man spoke evil falsely. And when the pious Sage learned of this he sent the maligner a gift with this written message: "You sent me a gift out of your merits, and now I reward you with this gift, which I send you herewith." For on the Day of Judgment they will display before many people good deeds that they did not perform, and these people will say, "But we did not perform these precepts." Then the Court of Heaven will answer them, "Those people who spoke evil of you performed these good deeds and we are taking them away from them and giving them to you."

And, in the same way, they will show evil deeds to the wicked — evil deeds that those wicked people did not do. And when the wicked protest, "We did not commit these particular wicked deeds," the Heavenly Court will answer, "These sins were committed by those against whom you gossiped, and these sins have therefore been taken from them and added to yours." And this is the meaning of what is said: "And render unto our neighbors (who gossip against us) sevenfold into their bosom their reproach, wherewith they have reproached Thee, O Lord!" (Ps. 79:12). For anyone who reviles a righteous man, it is as though he reviles the Lord, Blessed be He. For the enemies of Israel are called the "enemies of God" in many places. And in connection with speaking against the righteous, the Torah has warned us: "Remember what the Lord your God did to Miriam on the journey …" (Deut. 24:9).

Therefore, one who bears insult and is silent is recognized to be truly modest. And so have we found in Shabbath 31b concerning Hillel the Prince, when a man insulted him and said, "Let there not be many like you in Israel," that Hillel did not fly into a temper. And there is a statement in the Midrash, "No one can be called modest unless he can hear himself reviled and not answer as if it is written: 'And Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses! (And it does not say that Moses responded). And following this it is written : And the man Moses was exceedingly modest.' "

And concerning these that are not worried about their own honor but love God, it is written in Judges 5:31 and commented upon in Shabbath 88b : "But they that love Him be as the sun when he goeth forth in his might." (Our Rabbis taught: "Those who are insulted but do not insult, hear themselves reviled without answering, act through love and rejoice in suffering.")

4. The fourth manifestation of true modesty is if the Creator, Blessed be He, deals well with a man in giving him wealth and children, and also gives him great wisdom, understanding and honor. That man should become even more modest and humble before the Creator, Blessed be He, and honor men and do good to them more than before. As in the case of Abraham when the Holy One, Blessed be He, said to him: "Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, since Abraham is to become a great and populous nation…" (Gen. 18:17-18). Abraham responded, "And I am dust and ashes."

Much of the wisdom and much of the wealth that we see multiplying in the hands of some people in this world come to them for one of three reasons:

The first is as a goodness sent by the Holy One, Blessed be He.The second is as a trial or temptation.The third is wealth acquired as an act of vengeance.

The first reason — wealth and wisdom as the benificence of God, can be evidenced by the fact that this rich man harms no man with his money, nor does the wise man use his wisdom to harm any man. And when this man with his wisdom and this man with his wealth add to the Service of the Holy One, Blessed be He, in accordance with their interest, then you may be sure that this wealth and wisdom come from the Holy One, Blessed be He.

The sign of wealth or wisdom as temptation is that the possessor of the wealth is occupied with guarding his wealth, and is constantly concerned about losing his money and does not enjoy his wealth to obtain power or to consume what it buys. The possessor does no harm to anyone with his wealth, and does not boast of it, but bothers constantly to gather more wealth and worries about guarding it. He does not give alms and does not show pity to the poor. He does not feed them and he does not clothe them. And so is it with the wise man who devotes most of his wisdom to temporary worldly matters and desires to fill the needs of the moment but does not use his wisdom for an evil or good purpose. These are certainly trials.

And the third is wealth acquired and held as an act of vengeance. And the sign of this is that the owner of the money harms others with his wealth and boasts of it, and does not give charity, and is fully occupied with enjoying it as it is written: "And behold joy and gladness, slaying oxen and killing sheep" (Is. 22:13), and it says further: "And the harp and the psaltery, the tabret and the pipe, and wine are in their feasts" (Ibid. 5:12). And he does not pay of all his wealth that which is due to the Holy One, Blessed be He. On this it is said: "Riches kept by the owner thereof to his hurt" (Eccl. 5:12). And thus it is with the wise when he schemes to do evil deeds and not good deeds with his wisdom, as it is said: "They are wise to do evil, but to do good they have no knowledge" (Jer. 4:22). Then his wisdom is a stumbling block to him.

Therefore, the intelligent person will do with his wealth and his wisdom the good he can, according to the extent of his wealth and wisdom, and will add to his modesty and humility and his heart will not grow haughty and he will always worry whether this wealth is not his sole reward. Such a person belongs to those who fear that their wealth may destroy them and of whom it is said: "But who instantly requites with distraction those who reject him" (Deut. 7:10). The wise man, too, will worry whether he is among those of whom it is said: "They are wise to do evil and do not know how to do good" (Jer. 4:22). And every man is obligated to grow wiser and to understand more clearly and continue to attain through his wisdom good deeds until his wisdom can achieve no more.

5. The fifth way in which modesty could be recognized in a man is when he rebukes himself because of some evil he has done to someone through deeds or words, and although he has no need whatever of the friendship of that man and never expects to receive some benefit from him, he, nevertheless, voluntarily and without any one urging him, goes to the person he has offended and asks his forgiveness, humbles himself before him and corrects what he has done wrong and speaks words of supplication and pleading to him he has offended. This, too, is a sign of true modesty.

6. The sixth way in which true modesty can be recognized is if a man customarily speaks soft words, as it is said: "A soft answer turneth away wrath" (Prov. 15:1), and with a low voice, for this speaks of humility as it is said: "And you shall be humbled and shall speak from the ground and your speech shall be low out of the dust" (Is. 29:4). And he should not occupy himself with the beauty of clothes and ornaments, as it is said: "For He saves the humble-eyed person" (Job 22:29). And he should not occupy himself with the pursuit of pleasure, as it is said: "The righteous eats to satisfy his soul" (Prov. 13:25), and not more. All these are the signs of Modesty.

Modesty is a ladder by which one ascends to the ways of the Holy One, Blessed be He, as it is said: "He guides the humble in justice and He teaches the humble His way" (Ps. 25:9). Through humility he attains the reverence of God, Blessed be He, as it is said: "The reward of humility is fear" (Prov. 22:4). The Shekinah dwells on the humble as it is said : "I dwell… with him that is of a contrite and humble spirit" (Is. 57:15). The Holy One, Blessed be He, ignored all the high mountains and hills and inclined His Spirit to Mount Sinai and descended to this lowly mountain. And it is written: "Awake and sing, ye that dwell in the dust — for thy dew is as the dew of light" (Is. 26:19). He that lives in the dust in his earthy life will live in the world to come.

And it is written: "For though the Lord be high, yet He regards the lowly" (Ps. 138:6) (See Sotah 5a).

And he who makes his heart as nothing but flesh — his prayer will be heard, as it is written: "All flesh will come to bow before Me, said the Lord" (Is. 66:23) (See Sotah 5a). And it is written: "O Thou that hearest prayer, unto Thee does all flesh come" (Ps. 65:3).

Rabbi Joshua ben Levi said, "Come and see how great before the Holy One, Blessed be He, are the lowly in spirit. When the Temple was still standing, if a man offered a burnt offering he received the reward of a burnt offering; if he offered a meal offering he received the reward of a meal offering; but he whose spirit is humble is said by Scripture to be as though he had offered all of the sacrifices, for it is said: "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit" (Ps. 51:19). Not only this but his prayer is not rejected for it is also said in the same verse: "A broken and contrite heart, O God, Thou will not despite." (And this is commented upon in Sotah 5b.)

Many good branches sprout from the root of modesty. The modest person is patient and from patience comes peace and with humility one can quiet the wrath of a man who is angry with him, as it is said : "A soft answer turns away wrath" (Prov. 15:1), and seeking peace is a very good quality indeed.

The modest person has charm, as it is said: "And He gives grace to the humble" (Prov. 3:34). The prayer of the modest person is received before the Holy One, Blessed be He, for he, the modest person, is always generous and waives his claims against others. And it is because of this that the prayer of Rabbi Akiba was received when he began, "Our Father, our King" as is commented upon in Ta'anith 25b. The modest man merits increasing wisdom, for he is humble in the presence of the wise and sits at their feet, as it is said: "He that walks with wise men shall be wise" (Prov. 13:20). Heaven has mercy upon the humble person, as it is said: "He who confesses his wrongs and forsakes them shall obtain mercy" (Prov. 28:13).

The modest person flees from greatness and from honor and it is on this that the modesty of a person really depends, as it is said: "And to walk humbly with thy God" (Michah 6:8).

The modest person is happy with the portion that the Holy One, Blessed be He, has allotted him, whether it be great or small, as it is said: "Better is a little that the righteous has" (Ps. 37:16). And with his rejoicing in his portion he quiets his heart from the hustle-bustle of this world, and thus his heart is left open to search wisdom and to the service of the Holy One, Blessed be He.

The modest person judges every man favorably. An example of this is when they asked one of the pious: "By what means did you merit to become the master of the wise of your generation?". He responded : "Because I credited every man I saw with being better than I. If he were wiser than I, I said, 'He is also more reverent to God than I because of his greater wisdom,' and if he were less wise than I, I would say, 'Any fault he commits he does unknowingly, but I, whatever sin I commit, do so knowingly.' If he were older than I, I would say, 'He has amassed more merits than I,' but if I were older than he, I would say, 'His sins are less than mine,' and if he were like me in wisdom and in years, I would say, 'His heart is better directed to God than mine, for I know the sins I have committed and I do not know the sins he has committed.' And if he were richer than I, I would say, 'He gives more charity than I,' and if he were poorer than I, I would say 'he is more crushed and lowly in spirit than I and is better than I.' And for these reasons I honored all men and humbled myself before them."

The faults of a humble person are quickly forgotten because people seek to honor such a person, and the modest person finds many helpers. For example, they said of a certain king who was lodging with many people one night that he himself arose and adjusted the lamp so that it should not be extinguished. His followers said to him, "Why did you not command us to do this?" He said to them, "As king I felt it to be my duty" (noblesse oblige).

And the sages said, "Every virtue is envied except modesty," and they said further, "He who is lowly in his own eyes is great in the eyes of others."

But in exercising the quality of humility we ought to shun being submissive and modest before the wicked, and on this subject Scripture has said: "As a troubled fountain and a corrupted spring, so is a righteous man that gives way before the wicked" (Prov. 25:26). And if he has the power he should avenge the wickedness of the wicked, for the honor of God's Name, and add strength to his rebuke against them and stand against them like a roaring lion to save the plundered from the plunderer. And let him teach others the true Service of the Holy One, Blessed be He, and rebuke them with all his might, according to his wisdom — first gently, and, if this does not succeed then he must shame them. He must constantly command them to do good and warn them away from evil, with mouth and tongue, according to his wisdom, and he must hasten to exact what is due to God and not be submissive or humble in this.

There is a modesty which is as evil as arrogance, as in the case of the false prophets who used to dress in the humble garments of the prophets of truth in order that people should accept their lies and falsehoods, as it is said: "Neither shall they wear a hairy mantle to deceive" (Zech. 13:4).

Therefore, those who are modest in their dress and speak gently and conduct themselves as pious and just in order that others should believe them and depend upon their works, and flatter those who should not be flattered, and make secret schemes and do not worry about fulfilling the commandments except when they are in the public eye and not when they are alone, and thus deceive the people — these are profaners of God, Blessed be He, more than all others — for they cause people to disbelieve the good teachers and prophets, for these latter are then suspected by people who say, "Perhaps these men are like those who deceived us." When anyone recognizes a false and lying prophet he should spread this abroad and let everyone know, as our Sages said: "We must publicly expose those who are flatterers" (Yoma 86b).

Therefore, arouse yourself and do not be reluctant to weaken the temptation within you to exalt yourself and to deceive. And do not hold back because you see many of your contemporaries still clinging to these qualities and not attempting to eradicate them, and they say to those who rebuke them, "Who is the man without some pride, and who is the man who is constantly upright in his business dealings, never taking advantage of a person, and all of whose deeds are faultless? Surely there are many people better and greater than I that do such and such. Therefore, I will do as they do and whatever happens to them in the world to come will also happen to me." Those who think thus are guilty of unequalled folly. As an analogy, take the case of one whose eyes pain him greatly and he has a certain remedy that is excellent for healing the eye, and all people know the positive worth of this remedy, it is not wise to say, "I will apply no medicine, and if I become blind what of it? There are a lot of blind people in the world and what happens to them will happen to me." Surely, this type of reasoning is nonsense and to be scorned by everyone.

Therefore, scrutinize well your soul and try with all your power not to let your eyes dwell on those who are below you in wisdom and in Service to God — for then you, yourself, will be lessened in the service of the Holy One, Blessed is He, and in the quality of wisdom. But rather, pay heed with your eyes and your heart to him who is above you, and try to follow his example and to emulate him according to your ability in exercising wisdom and in the service of the Holy One, Blessed be He. And on this subject it is said in Hosea 6:3: "And let us know — eagerly strive to know the Lord, His going forth is as sure as the morning, and He shall come unto us as the rain, as the latter rain that watereth (instructs) the earth."