שמות

מחני נא מספרך. ע"ד הפשט הוא ספר התורה ורצה לומר שלא יהיה נזכר בתורה ושלא תנתן על ידו. וע"ד המדרש מספרך קללת חכם אפילו על תנאי היא באה, מנא לן ממשה שאמר מחני, ואע"פ שנתכפר להם עון העגל נמחה שמו מפרשת ואתה תצוה שלא נזכר שם שמו של משה כלל.

מחני נא מספרך, “blot me (my name) out from Your book, please.” According to the plain meaning of these words the “book” Moses spoke of was the Torah. A Midrashic approach: The word “from Your book” which Moses uttered here as simply a possibility, teaches that the curse of a Torah scholar, even if only conditional, is apt to come true. This is based on what Moses said here. Even though the essence of his prayer, namely forgiveness of the sin of the Jewish people, was accepted by G’d, Moses’ name does not appear in the entire portion of תצוה as a direct consequence of his uttering the words מחני נא מספרך. Whereas G’d forgave the grievous sin of the golden calf, He did not ignore these words of Moses which He considered as out of place.

וע"ד השכל מספרך קרא מערכת הכוכבים ספרו של הקב"ה שכשם שהספר הוא חקיקה וציור אותיות בעניני החכמות, כן במערכת הכוכבים חקיקה וציורי כחות בעניני האדם ובמספר ימי חייהם בעוה"ז הנזכרים והחקוקים שם כדבר החקוק והנכתב בספר, וכן אמר דוד (תהילים קל״ט:ט״ז) גלמי ראו עיניך ועל ספרך כלם יכתבו.

A more rational/investigative approach: The word מספרך, is a reference to the horoscopes, something known as the “book (handbook) of the Lord.” Just as a book consists of impressions of letters and pictures, etc., imprinted in order to be a permanent record, so the stars in the sky represent a similar book of reference of the Lord in which He predetermined the fates of all those who do not qualify for His personal supervision of their fates, i.e. the book of horoscopes. Such a book contains a list of the life spans of each individual before he is born, as well as other data relevant to his life on earth. King David already referred to this in Psalms 139,16: “Your eyes saw my unformed limbs, they were recorded in Your book.”

והנה כח האדם אשר למעלה הוא יסוד העמדתו וקיומו מלמטה ומחות הכח ובטולו הוא מיתתו, ולכך בקש משה בתחנה מאתו יתברך שאם לא ישא לפשעם שימחה כחו ממערכת הכוכבים כלומר שיהרגהו כי לא יוכל לראות ברעתם, והוא שכתוב במקום אחר (במדבר י״א:ט״ו) הרגני נא הרג אם מצאתי חן בעיניך, והוא לשון הצדיקים המצטערים הדואגים על חייהם, וכן אמר אליהו (מלכים א י״ט:ד׳) קח נפשי כי לא טוב אנכי מאבותי, וכן יונה בן אמתי אמר (יונה ד׳:ג׳) קח נא את נפשי ממני כי טוב מותי מחיי. ומה שהוסיף אשר כתבת הכוונה אשר חדשת כי המחודש יעיד על המחדש כשם שהכתיבה תעיד על כותב, וכוון משה לאמר בזה כי כיון שהוא יתברך חדש הכחות ההם בידו לבטלם והשיב לו הקב"ה מי אשר חטא לי אמחנו מספרי, לגודל קצפו עליהם הזכירם בדרך סתם ולא רצה להזכירם בשמם ואמר למשה אתה אינך ראוי לעונש זה כי אתה לא חטאת בזה כלל, אבל מי אשר חטא לי הוא הראוי שאמחנו מספרי כלומר שאבטל כחם מן המערכה ומזה יתבטלו מן העולם, וכענין שהזכיר למעלה ויחר אפי בהם ואכלם.

Man’s potential in the celestial spheres (what is inscribed in that book) enables him to accomplish whatever it is that he will accomplish while alive on earth. When this potential is erased in G’d’s book, this means that he will die here on earth forthwith. In other words, the essence of Moses’s prayer was that unless G’d would forgive the people their sin, he, Moses, would not want to live. He simply could not bear to watch the misery that would befall his people if G’d were not to forgive them. On another occasion Moses phrased the same sentiment more directly when he said הרגני נא הרוג אם מצאתי חן בעיניך, “please kill me (now) if I have found favor in Your eyes” (Numbers 10,15). This is a typical expression used by the righteous when they experience mental anguish and despair of the usefulness of their lives. The prophet Elijah used similar language after the failure of his demonstration at Mount Carmel, when he had walked for forty days to Mount Chorev and said to G’d that He should take his soul as he had not proved more effective than other prophets who had preceded him (Kings I 19,4). Another prophet who used similar language as a death wish was Jonah who said to G’d: “please take my life for it is better that I die than that I live (Jonah 4,3). The reason Moses added the words אשר כתבת, “which You have written,” is a reference to something new, a recognition that G’d had been the one who called the universe into existence. Anything “new” testifies to the existence of the One who created something new, just as the written word testifies to the fact that there was someone who did the writing. Moses implied that seeing it had been G’d who had initiated all these forces it was also within His power to cancel such evil decrees at will. G’d answered him that He reserved the right to erase the people who had sinned from His “book,” not the ones who had not. The fact that G’d did not even name the sinners, i.e. the Jewish people, reflects the depth of G’d’s anger at them (32,33). G’d said to Moses in effect: “You are not deserving of any punishment seeing that you have not sinned at all. However, all those who have sinned are the ones who are in line for being erased from My book.” G’d meant that He would nullify the potential of these sinners’ power as predetermined in the handbook of G’d which we described earlier. It is in line with verse 10 where G’d exclaimed that “My anger has flared against them and I will destroy them within a moment.”

וע"ד הקבלה מספרך מן הספירות, והוא כאלו אמר משש קצוות של מעלה שהם ששה ספירות כי הם ראשית כל מפעל והם נקראים מלאכת שמים וארץ, וזה סוד הכתוב (תהילים ס״ט:כ״ט) ימחו מספר חיים מלשון ספירות ג"כ וכאלו אמר מצרור החיים.

A Kabbalistic approach: the word מספרך, is equivalent to מן הספירות, “from the list of emanations.” It is as if Moses had said that he wished to be erased from the lower six of these emanations. They represent G’d’s activity when beginning to create the universe. It is a reference to the six extremities of the universe which are also known as the מלאכת שמים וארץ, “the work of (constructing) heaven and earth.” This is also the mystical dimension of Psalms 69,29: ימחו מספר חיים, “may they be expunged from the ‘book’ of life.” David also referred to these emanations, calling them ספר.

ומכאן יש לך להבין מאמר חכמי האמת, שלשה ספרים נפתחים בראש השנה, אחד של צדיקים גמורים, ואחד של רשעים גמורים, ואחד של בינוניים. והכוונה כי שלשה ספרים שהם חסד דין ורחמים, צדיקים גמורים סבתם החסד, ורשעים גמורים סבתם הדין, בינונים סבתם הרחמים שהוא מכריע בינתים, והמלך שאנו מזכירין בראש השנה פועל בשלשתן.

This enables us to understand a statement by the sages (Rosh Hashanah 16) that three “books” are open before the Lord on New Year’s day. One contains the names of the fully righteous people, one contains the names of the definite sinners, whereas the third contains the names of the people who fall into an in-between category, being neither considered righteous nor evil. The three books referred to may also be understood as חסד, דין, רחמים “loving kindness, Justice, Mercy.” G’d relates to the totally righteous with loving kindness; to the wicked He relates with Justice. To the category which has not yet crystallized as either of the former two, He relates with “Mercy.” The attribute of Mercy is called upon to decide to which category to consign these people who by reason of their deeds are not yet properly categorized. The מלך, “King” whom we address on Rosh Hashanah deals with all three categories on that day.